Late-night feedings, endless dirty diapers, and near-constant outfit changes are to be expected when welcoming a new baby. Along with the lifestyle shift of new parenthood and postpartum healing, there are less visible challenges to manage.
The mental demands of caring for a fragile infant are significant, and when you add sleep deprivation, exhaustion can follow. While feelings of sadness can be common during the postpartum period, long-term baby blues may indicate bigger issues. If you’re navigating new motherhood and the baby blues aren’t going away, it may be time to get support. Learn the signs, how to ask for help, and your options to support your mental health as a new mom.
1. Make Mental Health Care Part of Your Postpartum Recovery
Increasingly, mental health has become a part of normal healthcare, but life events like childbirth require extra attention. If you’re already working with a therapist, include them in your postpartum journey and maintain your regular appointment cadence.
If you’re in need of a therapist and don’t currently have one, ask your doctor for resources and recommendations. Waiting lists can be long, so a referral from your obstetrician may help speed things up. Look into telehealth and app-based platforms, too, which can be more accessible and are often covered by insurance.
New mothers without previous mental health concerns can experience postpartum depression and anxiety, so be honest about how you’re feeling. If your mental state has deteriorated to a dangerous state, or if you suspect that’s where you’re trending, reach out. There are crisis-based therapists and facilities ready to help you in even your darkest hour.
If your situation has advanced, stepping away from stressors may be the best path toward recovery. Mental health rehab facilities provide a focused support regimen that can be crucial in restoring your mental health postpartum. By stripping away external distractions, you can focus on reaching equilibrium and finding an effective treatment plan.
2. Build Your Motherhood Community
One of the biggest gaps in society today is community; it’s an issue that becomes even more glaring in motherhood. The idea of “it takes a village” almost feels laughable, given how isolating new motherhood often seems.
Make the first move toward building your motherhood community despite any preconceived notions or fear. If you’re among the first in your friend group to have kids, it can feel strange to be different. Similarly, being an older first-time parent can make it feel as if you have another barrier to making connections with others. Fortunately, these obstacles can be overcome.
Consider attending postpartum motherhood groups, lactation circles, or organization-based meetups to get the ball rolling. Your obstetrician or healthcare system may host these events, often providing baby-care support during gatherings. As you get tips from professionals and share stories with other new moms, you’ll gain a sense of community.
As your baby grows, you’ll have a group of people experiencing similar trials and triumphs. Exchange contact information and proactively offer to check in on one another. Social media direct messaging often skips the late-night text alert and can be a way to check in while feeding.
Many times, pairing face-to-face relationships with digital connections builds lasting bonds and encourages candor. Lean on one another, discuss your mental health, and build friendships through motherhood.
3. Engage Your Partner Equitably
Women traditionally carry the mental load of a household whether children are in the picture or not. And when a new baby is added to the equation, it rarely sparks a reshuffle of responsibilities, mental and otherwise. Without an equitable division of household labor, your relationship may be at risk.
With so much on your to-do list, the responsibility of new motherhood, and the postpartum healing process, it can be overwhelming. Caring for yourself quickly falls off the radar and, soon, the rest of your responsibilities may, too. One way you can combat this outcome is to engage your partner equitably in the household.
Schedule time to sit down when the baby is asleep and you’re as alert as you can be. Broach the topic calmly, assuming good intent from your partner. In a healthy relationship, you both are invested in your family’s success. Keep this goal in mind as you discuss the administrative function of the household and the new tasks parenting brings.
Resist the urge to bring a to-do list for your partner, as that represents additional mental work and project management from you. Instead, treat managing the household as a joint venture, where identifying tasks and completing them is a collaborative enterprise.
Use shared lists, notes, and task managers to log responsibilities, which can centralize and visualize labor. Add baby care tasks and consider the time required and capabilities of each person. If you’re breastfeeding, your partner can set up your feeding space, wash breast pump parts, and do laundry. By sharing the load, you can strengthen your relationship and manage mental stressors brought on by new motherhood.
Taking Care of Yourself Is Part of Taking Care of Baby
The last thing you may feel you have time for is yourself, but if you’re not well, nobody wins. Prioritize taking care of your physical, mental, and dietary needs to support healing inside and out. When you do, you’ll be present, alert, and able to enjoy motherhood and your baby to the fullest.