The screaming. The sweating. The blood. Childbirth is magical…only when you block out the nasty bits. And just when you think it’s all over with the baby out and safe and sound…it’s just started.
‘Getting any sleep yet?’
If you know your Craig Ferguson (the ex-alcoholic Scotsman who used to rule late night TV in cahoots with a not real horse, a dead gay skeleton robot and a ‘racist’), you know that that question was inevitable whenever he had a guest who’d had a baby recently.
And that is a completely logical question.
While babies certainly are a source of joy and happiness, they need to be taken care of.
They are unpredictable and they can’t communicate like ‘grownups’ can (‘Covfefe’, anyone?)
And this does tend to put not a little stress on a relationship.
During this period it is vital that couples engage in activities that strengthen the relationship and bring them closer together – how these activities need to be of a short duration (unlike a holiday) and ones that can be aborted immediately if the baby needs attention.
You may already know 5 things a new mom needs. Here are the top 5 couple things to do after the baby comes.
- Escape room
A typical escape room is more or less like the one you saw if you’ve seen the movie called ‘Escape Room’ that released earlier this year.
Except in a real life escape room, there is no real danger to your well being, there is no evil company running the game and you do not need to kill the game master to escape.
However there is definitely an element of thrill and suspense. And there is the challenge of working together to find your way out before time runs out.
Romance really does blossom in an escape room. We know many couples like the proposal to be at an escape game, so it’s only logical that it would be equally suitable for couples looking for some magic ‘us’ time after the baby is born.
And escape rooms definitely allow you to leave in an emergency so if your sitter or one of your in-laws calls in an emergency, most game masters will arrange for you to be informed and immediately exit the game.
- Meet up for coffee
Nope, not at Starbucks. Not at a non-Starbucks cafe (I support both Starbucks and the ‘Starbucks ain’t all it’s cracked up to be’ movement).
Right at your dinner table. A half hour every day when neither of you are at work and the baby is sound asleep.
A calm meetup daily when you can have a conversation about each other’s problems and feelings is the best…maybe the only way forward when there’s a baby in the house.
- Appreciate your significant other
Leave notes on the fridge.
Complement the effort the other person makes in taking care of everything – and let them know it.
In a ‘baby doesn’t let us sleep’ or ‘whose turn is it to change the diaper anyway?’ regime, frequent appreciation of the other’s efforts in keeping a grip on things and sustaining the relationship would be greatly appreciated.
- Give your partner the day off
When a corporation wants to show an employee that it appreciates their efforts at work, they give them a raise or a bonus.
However, I don’t think handing your partner a wad of cash, saying ‘I appreciate your efforts, hon’ and springing out of the house is a good idea in a relationship, do you?
Instead, give them a day off.
Plan their day ahead. Involve their friends in this. Arrange for their friends to pick them up right from the house.
On Off Day, surprise them with breakfast in bed – and then make the announcement.
Ronald Reagan frequently spoke on the importance of communication in everything.
Constant communication was what enabled the Cuban missile crisis to pass without any actual bombs being launched.
And constant communication will help you sustain your relationship in these difficult times.
Talk with each other about your desires, your hopes and your fears.
It will help you understand each other’s state of mind a whole lot better.
Are you planning on having a baby? Do you have one already and are going through That Time Of Your Lives?
Hopefully these steps will help you get through that.