What to do if you are not Ready for Marriage

Marriage can be a scary prospect for some people, and many modern couples are not interested in marrying within a couple of months of knowing each other. Sometimes, they will never be ready at all. However, not being ready for marriage should not affect the success and happiness of your relationship, and there are many solutions that you should consider when rejecting the concept of marriage.

  • Find Alternatives to Marriage

Even though you may not be ready for marriage, there are several alternatives that can help you to stay together, make the next step, and be financially secure, without the commitment of marriage.

  • A cohabitation agreement can be a sensible decision for unmarried couples looking to live together. This can enable you to protect your joint property if you choose to break up, as well as giving you the option to marry in the future.
  • Depending on which state you live in, domestic partnerships and civil unions can also allow you to make a commitment without the aspects of marriage that you may disagree with, such as its religion-based outlook. These are not only for same-sex couples, and they allow you to achieve the commitment of marriage without having a marriage ceremony.
  • Make a Plan for the Future

If one or both of you want to get married in the future but are not ready at the moment, you should make a plan for the future where you can determine what the next steps of your relationship should be and when you should get married. This can be dependent on factors such as financial stability or children, for example. It will help to reduce any impatience and discomfort on either side of the marriage and help you both to have viable relationship targets to work towards.

  • Invest in Other Aspects of Family Life

Family life is not all about marriage, and you should consider some of the other aspects of family life that you may prefer. For instance, instead of spending thousands on a wedding, why not consider buying a house or heading on an expensive holiday? This will allow you both to take your relationship further while avoiding the commitment of marriage.

  • Speak to Your Partner

However, the most important action that you should take is speaking to your partner. Although it may be a contentious subject between you, open communication is one of the most important factors in relationships and can help you to make your partnership successful. When explaining why you do not want to get married, you should detail the reasons why you do not believe that you are ready for marriage, and make sure that the other person knows that they are not to blame.

  • Consider Therapy

If your aversion to marriage is due to a specific insecurity or fear, you should consider talking therapy to help you to understand and work through this issue. Additionally, if the issue is a problem in your relationship, you should consider relationship counselling, where you can each discuss your problems in a safe and mediated environment.

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