What Could Kill Your Relationship Before It Starts?

New relationships. Fresh beginnings. Brand new people around you, but you are still the same person who still doesn’t know whether to do this or not.

That’s the biggest problem.

You go with what your heart tells you and there you are, on the verge of a breakup. Sitting in your living room trying to figure out what turned upside down and ruined this relationship before it even started.

Sometimes it’s hard to break up even at the beginning when you are trying to figure out where this relationship is going.

You just made an emotional connection to this person, and now you are saying goodbye.

Why? What’s the problem with new relationships and why they end before they start?

It’s in the behaviors.

Different personalities, outside influences, and some strange behaviors are the main reason why people can’t stay happy and in love with a new partner.

I have seven behaviors right here you need to take care of before going into a new relationship.

All of them have the ability to ruin a relationship when it starts.

Behavior #1: Past Relationship Nightmares


Bad breakups are the worst. You find yourself stuck in a room without windows and full with negativity.

Doing everything you need to find the key and get out, will help yourself and your partner.

Carrying negative thoughts and situations from the past relationship is not fair to either one of you. Some side will snap, and things won’t work out as both of you wanted.

Put your “big boy” pants up and move on!

Behavior #2: Drained Self-Esteem


The low self-esteem will get in between you and your partner now or later.

Your insecurities often come at the start of a new relationship. That’s how this issue found itself on this list.

Before you go deeper into the relationship, give time to yourself. Pick up those broken pieces and re-charge your self-esteem.

Then you’ll be ready.

Behavior #3: Scared as Alice in Wonderland

The Guardian
The Guardian

Not letting yourself into the relationship is connected to how scared are you of what’s coming next.

Moving together, marriage, kids…

It’s scary. However, that fear shouldn’t prevent you from being happy in your life.

Behavior #4: Trust Issues


A relationship without trust doesn’t exist. I know it hurts bad when someone takes advantage of it, but what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

Can I get an Amen to that?

Sort your trust issues and make a plan how to proceed in your new relationship.

Behavior #5: High Standards

Having standards is entirely okay. However, if that list is longer than your previous relationship, you need to start being more realistic.

If you are too busy or picky, there is a chance all the other women will take the good and respectful men.

And of course, there is a chance you are going to end up with some idiot.

Behavior #6: Terrible Childhood Memories


Rough childhood is one of the biggest reasons relationships break up just when both sides started feeling great.

Scientists talk about the way you connect and love your partner with your childhood.

Traumatic and unhappy days when you were a child could leave a mark when you are an adult, especially in your relationships

Heal. Take some time for yourself. Visit a psychologist if you need one. Stay away from medications. Do yoga and meditate.

Behavior #7: Chasing Unavailability


If someone you like so much is not prepared for a relationship, stop pursuing them. Stick to those who are single and ready to love you.

Anything sounds familiar?

All of these behaviors could kill the relationship before it starts.

Don’t forget to warn your friends about this. Use the sharing buttons below and let them know.


David Wolfe
Power of Positivity
Psych Central
Psychology Today

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