The most effective solution to your dating problem
When you go on 10 dates in a month and none of the people you meet calls you back or even responds to your calls, you know you’re in trouble. I’ve been there myself. It was 7 years ago when my girlfriend broke up with me. I thought that meeting new people would solve my depression (and it is, actually, a good way to recover), but it didn’t work for me because the people I was meeting refused to continue our communications after the first date. I didn’t know what to do. I spent a lot of time searching for a solution. In the end, I found it naturally and polished it through years of practice.
So the breakup and my depression appeared to be blessings because they forced me to leave my comfort zone and rapidly learn new things. After a few years of research (yes, years), I was getting more than 10 thousand matches on Tinder and been on a few hundred successful dates (just for the sake of research, of course).
To improve your dating experience, you must learn the key dynamic of any human relationship
The most important dynamic in any relationship is the power balance. The power balance is the level of dependence between one person in a relationship and the other. It shifts back and forth through argument, debate, conflict and other everyday situations. Ensuring that power is balanced is the key to a stable relationship.
How can you tell when you are in a weak position?
- You’re the one who is nervous, anxious or jealous.
- You’re the one who wants this particular relationship and actively demonstrates this desire.
- You’re the who apologises, even when it’s not your fault.
- You’re the one who prepares a surprise or a gift.
- You’re the one who is ‘building’ the relationship and trying to ‘make things right’.
If you are in a weak position, a relationship catastrophe is imminent. It’s only a matter of time. And it doesn’t matter at what stage your relationship is at, whether it’s a first date, the first month or after 15 years of marriage with kids.
I learned this hard truth after my own breakup, and then polished this insight through years of study and practice.
How to solve your dating problems
The solution is actually quite simple. You have to take a strong position and keep it throughout the entire communication with the person you’re having the first date with.
For the ultimate results, preferably, it should be something like 70% on your side and 30% on theirs. Of course, if you realize that the person you are with is a decent, reliable human being, you can reduce the amount to 60%-50% on your side.
Here is a step-by-step guide:
The best date of your life guide
Young couple in love sitting in a cafe, drinking water, having a conversation and enjoying the time spent with each other.
This guide describes a radical way to improve your dating experience.
I recommend implementing it on your next 10 dates. Just do it and see the results for yourself. Do not think. Practice.
- Prepare yourself. But not for the date. Do it for that particular day because you want to look great on that day. Do it based only on your own opinion. Do not try to predict the preferences of the person you’re going to meet.
- Your goal is not to have a successful date. Remove this idea from your mind. Instead, your main task is to have fun. You’re going to have a wonderful meal, or a tasty cake with a cup of coffee, or a nice walk in the park. That’s it. You’re not thinking about a second date, your future or your life, just about having a great time.
- You’re time-limited now. 45 minutes, one hour tops for the whole date. Even if the date seems wonderful, when the time is up, leave. Politely explain that ‘it was a pleasant experience and I’d like to spend more time with you, but, unfortunately, I have to go,’ and then leave.
- If you do feel not comfortable during the date, leave earlier.
- Behave exactly like you behave in normal life. It’s not your job to impress your date. Relax. Again, your goal is not to have a successful date. Your goal is to have a great time out. Talk freely about topics you enjoy, even if you think that they might not be for everyone or for people who do not know much about the subject. Ask a few questions about your companion’s past, as it’s the best way to check their compatibility.
- If they’re late, don’t wait for them. Period. You’re a busy person now. If they truly want to meet you, they will arrange a new date. But that will be their job, not yours. And you will not wait for them to arrange this date. Instead, you will focus on other candidates.
- After the date, don’t call or text them. Forget that. If they text you or call you, then respond. But do not initiate the communication.
This is how a date looks like when you are in a strong position. It is very powerful. It is attractive.
Use this guide during your next 10 dates (arrange them consecutively and use dating apps to speed up the process). Then, see what happens. If you fully implement my recommendations, you will be surprised by the results.
To improve your knowledge about tactical relationship psychology and to become stronger, follow me now: https://www.smithspowerconsulting.com
I will soon publish a guide on achieving your first thousand high-quality matches on Tinder.
Tactical Relationship Psychology Expert