Because children do not come with instruction manuals, parents frequently struggle to determine how to raise mentally strong, well-rounded, and successful children. Some parents are harsh, while others are forgiving. Some are watchful, while others are aloof. If you’ve ever wondered, “What type of parent do I want to be?”, it can help to understand the fundamentals of various parenting styles. Everything from your child’s self-esteem and physical health to how they interact with others can be influenced by your parenting style. It is critical to ensure that your parenting style promotes healthy growth and development because the way you interact with your child and discipline them will have an impact on them for the rest of their lives. Researchers have discovered four distinct types of parenting styles:
- Authoritarian
- Authoritative
- Permissive
- Uninvolved
Each style approaches child rearing differently, has different advantages and disadvantages, and can be distinguished by a variety of characteristics. People frequently ask which parenting style they use—and which is the best. There is no one right way to parent, but the general parenting style recommended by most experts, including the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), is an authoritative approach.
Authoritarian Parenting
Can you relate to these statements?
- You believe that children should be seen rather than heard.
- You believe that when it comes to rules, “my way or the highway.”
- You are unconcerned about your child’s feelings.
If any of these statements apply to you, you may be an authoritarian parent. Authoritarian parents believe that children should always follow the rules. Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, “Because I said so,” when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in bargaining and are solely concerned with obedience. They also do not permit children to participate in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. Instead, they make the rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for the views of children. Punishments may be used instead of discipline by authoritarian parents. So, rather than teaching a child how to make better decisions, they are more interested in making children feel sorry for their mistakes. Children raised by strict authoritarian parents are more likely to follow rules. Their obedience, however, comes at a cost.
They could also turn hostile or aggressive. Rather than considering how to do things better in the future, they frequently focus on the resentment they feel toward their parents or themselves for failing to meet parental expectations. Because authoritarian parents are frequently strict, their children may grow up to be good liars in order to avoid punishment.
Authoritative Parenting
Can you relate to these statements?
- You have worked hard to establish and maintain a positive relationship with your child.
- You explain why your rules are the way they are.
- You set limits, enforce rules, and impose consequences while keeping your child’s feelings in mind.
If you recognize those statements, you may be an authoritative parent. Authoritarian parents have rules and use consequences, but they also consider their children’s opinions. They validate their children’s emotions while also emphasizing that adults are ultimately in charge. This is the most developmentally healthy and effective parenting style, according to research and experts. Authoritarian parents devote time and energy to preventing behavioral issues before they occur. Positive discipline strategies, such as praise and reward systems, are also used to reinforce positive behavior. Researchers discovered that children raised by authoritative parents are more likely to grow up to be responsible adults who are comfortable self-advocating and expressing their opinions and feelings. Children who are raised with strict discipline are more likely to be happy and successful. They’re also more likely to make sound decisions and assess safety risks on their own.
Permissive Parents
Can you relate to these statements?
- You make rules but rarely follow them.
- You don’t hand out punishments very often.
- You believe that your child will learn best with minimal interference from you.
If you recognize those statements, you may be a permissive parent. Permissive parents are forgiving. They frequently only intervene when there is a serious problem. They’re quite forgiving, with the attitude that “kids will be kids.” When they do use consequences, they may not make them stick. They may relinquish privileges if a child begs, or they may let a child out of time-out early if they promise to be good. Permissive parents typically play the role of friend rather than parent. They frequently encourage their children to talk to them about their problems, but they rarely make an effort to discourage poor choices or bad behavior. They are also more likely to develop health problems such as obesity because permissive parents struggle to limit unhealthy food intake, promote regular exercise, and promote healthy sleep habits. They are even more likely to have dental cavities because permissive parents rarely enforce good habits, such as making sure their children brush their teeth.
Uninvolved Parenting
Can you relate to these statements?
- You don’t inquire about school or homework with your child.
- You never know where your child is or who he or she is with.
- You don’t devote much time to your child.
If you recognize those statements, you may be an uninvolved parent. Uninvolved parents often have little knowledge of their children’s activities. In most households, there are few rules. Children may not receive adequate parental guidance, nurturing, or attention. Parents who are uninvolved expect their children to raise themselves. They do not devote much time or energy to meeting the basic needs of children. Parents who are uninvolved may be neglectful, but it is not always intentional. A parent suffering from mental illness or substance abuse, for example, may be unable to meet a child’s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis.
Uninvolved parents may also lack knowledge about child development or believe that their child will do better without their supervision. And sometimes they’re simply overwhelmed with other issues, such as work, bills, and household management.
To conclude, there is no such thing as ideal parenting. Sometimes parents don’t fit into just one category, so don’t be discouraged if you have periods or areas where you’re permissive or uninvolved and others where you’re more authoritative. It is difficult to maintain consistency while juggling life and parenting. Avoid feelings of parental guilt or shame. That is not beneficial to anyone. However, studies show that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style. Even if you identify more with other parenting styles, you can take steps to become a more authoritative parent. You can maintain a positive relationship with your child while still establishing your authority in a healthy manner if you are dedicated and committed to being the best parent you can be. And your child will benefit from your authoritative style over time.