In a world that equates selflessness with virtue, prioritizing yourself can make you feel like you’re doing something wrong. However, neglecting your personal needs doesn’t serve anyone in the long run. Habitually neglecting yourself can lead to frustration, resentment, and even burnout.
Making self-care a priority isn’t about being selfish – it’s actually the foundation of healthy relationships. By putting yourself first, you’re making sure you have the energy and ability to support others. But how do you do it? How do you ignore the voice in your head that makes you feel bad for taking time to yourself when others need you? It’s actually easier than you think.
Recognize the signs that self-care is overdue
The first step is recognizing the signs that self-care is overdue and being realistic about what will happen if you don’t start taking care of yourself now. Signs of trouble brewing include: feeling burned out, grumpy, frustrated, and resentful toward anyone who asks you to do anything. If you’re experiencing fatigue, headaches, and sleep problems, it could be caused by the stress of overworking yourself to meet other people’s needs.
If you’re not doing well emotionally, physically, or mentally, that’s your sign to set guilt aside and start taking care of yourself. If you push yourself too far, you might experience serious health consequences. A lack of quality sleep alone can cause a cascade of negative health consequences.
Prioritize your physical health – it’s important
If you’ve been putting off going to the gym or working out at home because it interferes with time you typically spend with someone else, rethink that decision. Whether it’s your spouse or a child, you don’t have to be completely available all the time for everyone.
Sure, it’s nice to be available to help your kids with their homework, but at some point, they’ll need to learn how to be self-sufficient. They’re not going to fail if you spend a couple hours three days a week working out. Your spouse should support your dedication and not make you feel bad for not catering to their needs. Relationships based on neediness are not healthy.
If you’re responsible for certain tasks around the house that won’t get done if you start taking care of yourself, either delegate them or let those tasks go undone. Ask other people in the household to step up and take on more responsibilities, especially if they’re adults.
Do small things to support yourself
Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference in terms of self-care. Make a list of everything you can do for yourself that will make you feel good. For example:
- Start wearing compression socks. If you’re always running around and your feet are noticeably sore, try wearing compression socks. The gentle pressure is designed to alleviate sore legs and feet by improving circulation and preventing fluid from pooling. You can get them knee-high if you need calf support, or ankle length for ultimate comfort.
- Get a full body massage. When you’re stressed, your muscles are likely to be tight and painful, and a full body massage can help. Releasing the tension from tight muscles will feel good and help you relax more.
- Consider a new job. According to statistics, 77% of Americans say they are burned out in their careers. That’s significant, and a reflection of a world that rewards workaholic behavior. If your job doesn’t allow for a true work-life balance, start looking for a new job.
Set boundaries
Boundaries will protect your energy and are a critical component of self-care. Start saying no more often and decline additional responsibilities when you’re already overwhelmed. In fact, say no even long before you’re overwhelmed because being too agreeable is how you’ll get overwhelmed in the first place.
Determine what your boundaries are and communicate them clearly. You’ll get mutual respect and understanding when you express your needs beforehand rather than waiting for someone to cross a line. For instance, you might want to make yourself unavailable between certain hours at home, or take a full day to yourself each week.
You don’t need to be grumpy when enforcing your boundaries, but you should be strict and not make any exceptions. The minute you start making exceptions, people will push you to make more exceptions on a regular basis. It’s exhausting having to repeat yourself when people continually try to push, but by being firm from the start, they’ll learn not to even try.
Self-care doesn’t need to come with guilt
Prioritizing yourself isn’t a selfish act – it’s necessary for your health and wellbeing. By recognizing the signs of burnout, seeing your own worth, and implementing boundaries, you can embrace self-care while avoiding guilt.
By doing so, your relationships will be stronger, you’ll gain more respect naturally, and you’ll have the energy to take care of others as you see fit.
