Overcoming Insecurity: 10 Ways to Improve Confidence

At some point, every one of us will have to try to overcome their insecurities. To do that, we need courage, but more importantly confidence. Confidence is the key to success. If you think of every role model, everyone who is looked up to, you will realize that the one thing they all have in common is their confidence. 

Their confidence doesn’t stem from an act they put on. If you look closely at anyone whose confidence is remarkable, you’ll find that they’ve spent hours, days, and months beating at the same point until they’ve become so good at it. It’s the result of dedicated and persistent work, alongside mental and spiritual conditioning. 

So what can you do to bulletproof self-confidence?

Overcoming Insecurity: 10 Ways to Improve Confidence

Here are the 10 things you can do to give your confidence the boost it needs.

1.   Always be Yourself

You can never please everyone because every person you meet forms their own opinion of you. You will never be able to make them all happy so, understand that trying will destroy you and your self-esteem. You have to live life unapologetically, do whatever you want, wear whatever you want, etc. Don’t think about other people’s opinions, simply because they don’t matter.

However, you’ll never be able to be yourself truly if you don’t take the time to discover who you are. You hear about all of those people who were living their lives according to the script that was written for them. And then one day, one of them decides to go rogue. They walk out on the life that was expected for them to fulfill, and when they do that, they’re faced with criticism and disappointment from all of their close circles. But why would they decide to do that in the first place?

The answer simply lies in the fact that they felt there’s something missing. Living their whole lives fulfilling the dreams of someone else left them empty, and they were honest enough to realize the truth, and they were brave enough to decide to do something about it. And if you find someone in their 70’s starting on their journey, don’t be surprised because it’s never too late to start. It’s never too early, either!

The whole moral of the story is to be yourself, unapologetically. Laugh out loud till your lungs run out of air, be so good at what you do that, everyone stares at you in wonder, follow your heart to the deepest grooves and find your passion. And most importantly, never give up anything that makes you, YOU.

2.   Acknowledge Your Fears

Everyone of us has fears that keep us awake at night. Some of us fear the idea of rejection, other are scared of ending up alone. Maybe what keeps you up at night is the idea of being forgotten, of not becoming someone great or accomplishing everything you’ve always wanted to do. Perhaps you’re scared of the unknown, so you confine yourself into the comfort of what you’ve grown accustomed to. After all, if you’re careful enough, you can keep yourself safe from getting hurt, right?

Fear has always been a primal instinct in humankind, ever since the beginning of times. At the time, this strong emotion was the only thing that kept us alive long enough to make it to the twenty first century. Whenever you fear something, that’s your whole being telling you you’re in danger. And while our modern life is nothing like the first ages, this emotion still runs deep in our veins. There has to be a reason, there has to be something that this “fear” you’re feeling is trying to tell you. And if you listen well enough, you’ll know.

You’ll know that this feeling is telling you that you’re wasting your life being trapped in this tiny corner. That this fear is holding you back from experiencing what it means to be alive, and you’ll actually only start living once you learn how to overcome it. 

But first, you need to be honest with yourself about it. Hiding away from your fears won’t do you any good, you have to acknowledge what you are afraid of and try to overcome your fears, no matter how hard it might be. You will come out stronger and more confident at the other end.

3.   Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Getting out of your comfort zone will open the doors to realms you’ve never dreamed of stepping into. Maybe you’re stuck in your comfort zone because of your fears, and maybe you’re still there because you’ve found some comfort and you don’t want to change whatever good is happening. But honestly speaking, would you really describe it as good? Are you really satisfied with the way things are right now?

Forget everything you’ve been told and everything you convinced yourself that “this is how it should be”.  How would you know what really works for you if you just take their word for it? How would you know if you don’t try for yourself? 

I know, it feels scary. You’ll probably feel their eyes on you, you’ll hear their snickers behind your back. Maybe you’ll be so terrible at it, so why even try? I understand how you don’t want to make a fool of yourself. But imagine if you did it. Imagine waking up one day and rocking the floor with your new dance moves, or being so good at pitching your business idea to sponsors that you become one of the best employees. Imagine walking into the room with all of the confidence in the world, because you know damn well you’ve done the impossible. Imagine how would that feel, and tell me… wouldn’t that be worth the trouble?

Getting out of your comfort zone is crucial to building up your confidence. Work on expanding your comfort zone every day. Start with the little things that you usually avoid doing. If you expand your comfort zone little by little, you will feel your confidence improving every day.

4.   Get Things Done

Most often we find the days, weeks, and months passing us by. We wake up one day and look back, only to realize we’re still standing in the same spot. Maybe not even standing, it’s been more of a very long nap where we’re half asleep, half awake. The more we stand still, the worse it gets…

Think of everything you’ve wanted to accomplish. What are your body fitness goals? Do you want to lose weight, build muscle, get stronger, or become more flexible? What are your career goals? Your hobbies? What is the lifestyle that you truly, with all of your heart, want to be living?

Get everything down on paper. Write down your goals, and then start breaking them down into tinier goals, and then break them down some more. Keep breaking them until you’re able to do daily tasks that fit into your routine, something very clear and simple. The best way for you to accomplish all the big goals you set, is to set smaller ones to help you monitor where you are. By breaking down the big and intimidating task into smaller ones that are more attainable, you will make it easier on yourself to achieve what you set out to get done.

Even accomplishing the smallest, most insignificant goal on your to-do list will give you a sense of progress and accomplishment. Start with your day-to-day goals, then move on to weekly, monthly and annual goals. The feeling of accomplishment you will get is what confidence is built on.

5.   Do What You Think is Right

The more you get out there, the more you’ll realize that the grey area is bigger and more complicated than you thought it would be. At least, that’s what you’ll hear them saying. You’ll find people giving up on their principles for peer pressure, you’ll find others justifying whatever they’re doing just so they can sleep at night. But you know and they know that they’re just running away from what they know, deep down in their consciousness, to be wrong. 

You might get tempted to follow in their footsteps, because heaven knows it looks so easy to just do that. But if you give in to that, you’ll start losing yourself in the process. 

You’ll just do what you’re doing, because everyone else is doing that. But what about you? What do you really think? Do you think it’s okay, or do you know that this is not for you? How would you feel about yourself? Will it be another thing you’ll run away from? Or will you keep justifying it with some excuses so you can sleep at night? After a couple of falls, you’ll realize it wasn’t worth it all. 

Always do the right thing, never compromise your morals and values for anything, even if it is not in your best interest. You are your harshest critic, so don’t do something you know is wrong, it will make you doubt yourself.

6.   Take Care of Yourself

Your body is your temple, as the saying goes. If you keep your temple clean and well-cared for, you experience a rise in your whole life. And on the contrary, when you neglect it, your whole life feels dull and mundane. The people from explain that taking care of your body helps in boosting your confidence. You have to check up on your health every once in a while, to make sure everything is in tip-top shape. 

One of the best things you can do to care for your body, is to be consistent on exercise. There are a dazillion of researches out there that prove, over and over again, the astonishing connection between a strong body and a focused and awakened mind. Not only does exercise improve all of your bodily functions, it also helps you combat stress, anxiety, depression, and emotional baggage. Even more, it makes your body produce those feel-good hormones that make you feel you can rule the world! 

And if we’re speaking about exercise, we can never forget good and healthy nutrition. Eat your greens and avoid those junk foods. You owe it to your body to make it the best possible version.

7.   Stand Up for Yourself

If you were put in a situation where someone steps on you in one way or the other, what would you do? Would you shout at them, and do whatever it takes to stand up for your rights? Or would you stay quiet and fear speaking up? 

If you find yourself often choosing the latter option, how do you feel afterwards? Letting others step on you never ends well. Eventually, it starts to build up inside. You start to feel suffocated, abused, scared, and weak. And I know it seems scary, people are intimidating. Maybe you’re keeping silent because you don’t want to start any clashes, you just want a peaceful life.

But living in peace is completely different from living in fear. When you start standing up for yourself, you’ll be scared at first, but then it will feel like you’re invincible. That’s because you’re not waiting for anyone to rescue you anymore, you’re taking matters into your own hands!

Believe in yourself and your goals. People are going to doubt you, especially if you have big goals and projects you are trying to accomplish. Defend yourself, your actions and your goals because nobody else will.

8.   Only Focus on Things You Can Change

Many times we find ourselves dwelling on things we can’t change. It might be a relationship that ended and there was no way to salvage it, an attitude that your boss or co-working has, the traffic that got you wasting two hours today, or even just the sunny weather that makes you hate your very skin. 

Dwelling on everything you have no control over and can’t change will eat up your sanity. It will consume all of your energy, so much that you won’t have any left for your own goals and dreams. Next time you find yourself obsessing about how something went wrong, just ask yourself one question. What can you do to change it? If there’s anything you can do, then stop complaining and just do it! If there’s nothing in your hands that you can do about it, then just breathe and let it go. Think of what you should be doing at this very moment instead.

Don’t waste any time and energy on things that are out of your control, only focus on the things you can change. Channel your energy into something that would benefit you. Realistic goals will help you increase your confidence.

9. Make New Connections

Have you ever tried making new connections and finding out how other people are living their lives? Whenever you do that, you’ll be breath-taken at what a mind-expanding experience it can be.

There are millions of people out there. Some of them are struggling with the same issues you have, some are in an eye-opening journey of self-exploration, and others have figured them out and are on their next greater adventure. The human story has always been the most sacred type of storytelling, because it connects with every one of us on different levels. 

With every new connection, you’ll get to know more about yourself. You’ll find peace, thrill, and the courage to go on your own unique journey. And most of all, you’ll understand how every one of us is different in their own, and that’s okay. That’s more than okay actually, it’s magic in its most surreal of forms.

10. Forgive Yourself

A poet once said “forgive yourself for the decisions you’ve made, the ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night”, and that hit deeply.

We’re so busy beating ourselves up for our mistakes, when we should think of them as gifts instead. Every wrong turn you’ve taken, every mistake you’ve done, all of these have made you the person you are today. If there are some traits about you that you’re not so proud to have, at least you’re brave enough to admit they exist! And by now, you’re wise enough to know how to work on improving yourself. 

Mistakes don’t make you pathetic, they make you human. And that is the most real you can get, since there is a raw beauty in being human. And how would you live without making any mistakes, anyway? The only way you won’t make any mistakes is if you never do anything at all, which is just the equivalent of being dead. Is that any way to live?

The most important thing is to remember that everyone makes mistakes, you have to forgive yourself. Nobody is perfect all the time, stop holding yourself to high standards that no one can reach. Don’t beat yourself up over the past, try to change the future.

Hold Your Head Up High

If at any point you have any doubts, look at the progress you’ve made, but don’t dwell on  the past. Try to work on bettering yourself for the future. Nothing can top being confident and believing in yourself, so next time you’re trying to kick an insecurity, start with the little things and build your way up to be the best and most confident you can be. Hold your head up high, you’re a goddamn warrior.

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