Emotions are certainly one of the least understood concepts by people in general. This contradicts the fact that each of us is not only able to feel but also to found ourselves in a situation where we did not want to feel what we felt or to act more constructively about what we felt.
“Don’t get upset” is one of the widely used sentences with no bad intentions behind it but, by making such a statement, we can make a person even more upset. Instead, we can wait for the emotion to go away.
“Control your emotions” is a request that is also heard often but is unrealistic because we cannot control emotions, but we can control the behavior that results from them. In that way, we will invite the person to calm down and, when the emotion passes, decide how to act.
”You just have to think positively” is also a well-known slogan that can be very inconvenient because it sounds inappropriate when a person is under a rush of emotions, i.e. we send them a message that their feelings and thoughts are inadequate. A normalization of what is happening is what should be offered.
“Listen to your head, not your heart” is a message that means that emotions are irrational. It is a call to think about your actions and put enforce them when the head, not the heart, takes control because the emotions are intense and pervasive.
Emotions Are a Natural Part of Our Lives
However, some people allow emotions to rule them, which is not good but also it is not so bad per se. Emotionally intelligent people…
- do not allow the outside world to influence their feelings because they do their best to pull the strings of their feelings on their own
- do not rely on others to be happy because they create their own happiness, i.e. it is all up to them
- do not forget the fact that their emotions are just a reaction because the emotions are not real, they are reactions that their brain creates
- choose the thoughts they will have because they are independent people and therefore thinkers
- keep their distance because they do not make friends immediately and easily, and they let friends in when only they have ‘checked’ them well.
When we are irritable, doubt ourselves, have less self-confidence, or are overwhelmed by sadness, we can learn how to overcome these crises and come out of them stronger. Here is how:
- Conscious acceptance – sometimes things that we cannot influence happen: it is all right to feel bad and do not blame yourself for it. Learn to accept things as they are because you cannot influence them.
- Self-distancing – view your situation as if it is not happening to you: take a distance or point of view as if you are a disinterested, neutral side. The intensity and amount of negative feelings will reduce. You will find that the situation is not as bad as you thought.
- Reconsideration – find the positive in negative situations: learn to stop the negatives, find and write down at least one positive thing in the situation. The more often you do this, the easier it will be for your brain to think this way every time.
If one believes that they can control the expression of their feelings, they do so. If they believe they cannot control expression – they do not control it. By knowing these beliefs, we can better understand why people behave in certain ways and, by changing these beliefs, the desired changes in human sensitivity occur. In reality, people can be controlled. Although their emotions are a response to certain events, it is people who are responsible for how they understood and valued those events, and which way they chose to express the emotion.
When we feel an emotion, no matter how strong it is, we always choose how we express it. What are our options? We may choose not to express emotion and not to show it to others. We can choose to express it only non-verbally through facial expressions or posture. We can express it in words, of course, choosing which words to use. We can also express it through an action that is directed towards someone or something.
We’re Responsible For the Way We Express Emotions
Why are we responsible for the way we express emotions? Because we always choose the way to do so regardless of whether we are aware of it or not. People are afraid of strong feelings because of the belief that they can ‘kill’ them or that they will lose control of themselves and go crazy, which are basically irrational fears if a person is physically and mentally healthy.
When someone experiences a strong emotion, they may therefore have a positive or negative attitude that may contain some emotional reaction. People may be satisfied or proud to experience a given emotion, or they may feel ashamed or afraid because of it. This is how ‘emotions for the sake of emotion’ arise.
Certain emotional states increase the risks associated with certain activities, e.g. gambling, which is by no means recommended for people who feel depressed or angry. So, if you are in such an emotional state, avoid putting money on games of chance and thus ruin the experience provided by game vendors in some of the best online casinos, such as Top Gameart online casinos.
People are afraid of their own and other people’s madness, which is why it is often believed that every person has the potential to go crazy, to become psychotic. If people indulge in strong emotions they can do something crazy, but not go crazy. Psychosis does not arise due to strong emotion. So, relax and enjoy life and people, but also watch your behavior.