If you have just found out that you are pregnant, but are in the process of getting a divorce, you might be unsure of how to handle things. Should you continue with the proceedings? Does being pregnant affect your divorce? You might also be concerned about raising a child on your own. Being pregnant is a beautiful thing, but going through a divorce whilst being pregnant can be extremely stressful. There are so many uncertainties. You’re not only just emotional from the hormones but also from the heartache of your divorce.
Here are a few tips on how to handle a divorce while pregnant.
1. Check the laws of your state.
Firstly it’s really important to check the laws of your state about being pregnant and getting divorced. This is because some states don’t allow couples to get divorced if the wife is pregnant. Whereas other states might allow you to file for divorce, but it will only be finalized once your baby has been born.
2. Find a good lawyer.
Finding a lawyer who specializes in family law as well as divorce law would be a good idea. When you are pregnant you might need solid legal advice, and a lawyer will help you with your case. Lawyers can be expensive though, so you might only want to use them for certain parts of your proceedings.
3. You will need to think about custody and child support.
Even though your baby hasn’t been born yet, it will be good to start thinking about child custody and child support. By doing this and speaking to your partner, it will make things less stressful once the baby arrives. Things might change once your baby is born though, and this is another reason why some states don’t allow for divorce while a wife is pregnant. You and your spouse can sit down together with a lawyer and see what would be the best way to proceed.
It’s also interesting to note that mothers are normally granted custody of their babies. Especially when the baby is a newborn. This will also be a good time to discuss visits with your partner. If you would like to breastfeed your baby, how will you do so when it’s your spouse’s turn for visits? You will need to set up a schedule. You could also pump milk and allow your partner to bottle feed the baby if this works for both of you. The big thing is open and honest communication.
4. Can you support a child on your own?
Another very important thing to think about is whether or not you will be able to handle taking care of a baby on your own. Can you support your child financially on one income? Will you need to work? Can you afford daycare? These are important things to think about in order for you to handle a divorce while pregnant. These questions might be scary to think about, but they are necessary. You will also need to ask your spouse if they will pay for child support and how much. Will they pay for your OB/GYN visits and baby equipment? Finances can be a very stressful thing to think about if you’re pregnant. Being wise, asking the right questions and setting up a budget will help you to handle your divorce during this fragile time.
5. How to handle the stress of being pregnant and a divorce.
When you are going through a divorce, it’s important to be around friends and family who love and support you. It’s even more important if you are pregnant and going through a divorce. Whilst being pregnant you could be feeling emotional. You might be happy one minute and sad the next. Or you might even feel depressed because you are going through a divorce. If you are feeling depressed you might need to see a therapist to speak about how you feel. If your depression and anxiety are really bad, consider seeing your OB/GYN or GP to talk about medications that are safe during pregnancy to help you cope. There are certain antidepressants that are safe to use in low doses whilst pregnant.
Another important thing is to not be alone. Perhaps move in with family or a trusted friend for some time until you feel like you are able to cope. This is also important after the baby is born. Being alone with a newborn can be a scary prospect. You could also join a Lamaze class with a friend. This will help you prepare for the birth of your baby. This is usually something women do with their husbands, so going with someone you are close to, will help you feel better. Lamaze classes can also help you handle stress. You could even take up pregnancy yoga. This is also a great idea to help with your emotional health.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are struggling in any way, ask someone to help you. People won’t know that you need help unless you ask. This will also help you to handle stress during a divorce.
6. Try to get an online divorce
According to Complete Case, online divorce could be a good option for you if you are pregnant. You will first need to make sure of the laws in your state, but there might be a possibility that you can file for a divorce over the internet. Online divorce is cheap, fast, and easy. You can file for a divorce at home, so you won’t need to go anywhere. If you are tight on cash, online divorce is the way to go. On average an online divorce costs between $120 and $299.
Getting divorced is stressful and even more so if you are expecting. Remember to ask for help, and make sure that you surround yourself with friends and loved ones who can support and care for you during this beautiful and vulnerable time.