An engagement is a truly exciting time in a relationship, however, that does not guarantee that there will be wedding planning stress in the weeks and months that follow. And for even the most laid back couples, this wedding stress can lead to fights that do nothing to help the wedding planning process.
This is why it is important to consider the effects of wedding planning stress on a relationship, as well as a strategy to help avoid wedding fights. Below are a few reasons couples might find themselves fighting before wedding, and tips to avoid these clashes.
Top Reasons Couples Fight
Not Seeing Eye to Eye
One of the things that can cause fighting with fiancé before wedding is when one party seems less invested in the wedding planning than the other. This can be pretty frustrating, however, there are many ways that it can be handled.
Communication is key, and wedding planning time is a great time for learning how to tackle disagreements and uncomfortable conversations between a couple. This will enable you to make healthy compromises on issues like the wedding venue, guest list, and so on.
Money and Budgets
One topic that is the source of a lot of fighting during wedding planning, is money. Issues like budget allocation, who pays what bills, and overblown budgets.
It is important to discuss the budget at the very beginning of the wedding planning process and get it out of the way. This is one aspect you both need to agree on for a smoother transition. While you might not see eye to eye on everything, there will be need for some compromise to come to an agreement.
It can be quite difficult to navigate family dynamics, and this can cause a lot of fighting before marriage. We all have different traditions, boundaries, habits and expectations, and all these can come to the fore when something like a wedding brings both families together.
It is important to expect these issues, but also to decide to honor the pre-existing dynamics of your fiancé’s family. After that, you should set some healthy boundaries as a couple, to manage everyone’s expectations.
Things to Discuss
1. Who is in charge
It is difficult to achieve anything with more than one person at the helm, and so to avoid couple of arguments, it would be wise to decide who takes the lead in the planning process. This should be the more organized individual amongst you, and this person would oversee most aspects of the process. From keeping track of expenses, the paperwork, setting up appointments and ensuring that things go along smoothly.
This does not mean the other half will not be involved. He or she would just take a back seat and handle everything else the designated lead cannot.
2. Planning styles
Couples who don’t fight have succeeded in understanding each other to some extent. And if you understand each other’s planning styles, it will go a long way in helping you escape misunderstandings which could result in disagreements.
Some people are laid back in their approach to life in general, and some others, type-A’s for example, are the complete opposite. Understanding this aspect of your partner, will help in deciding which roles they would be perfect for in the planning process, and what not to fuss about, because this is who they are.
3. Planning Schedule
Having a planning schedule and fitting it in with your daily life, will help a lot in avoiding wedding fights. You can both decide what time in every day you would pitch in to get some things done, or you could carry on with normal life, and dedicate your weekends to wedding planning alone. Agree on a schedule that works for both parties.
4. Decision Making
It would be helpful to discuss early on what decisions would need to be made together, and what can be decided on by just the person handling the task. Certain things are vital to the two of you and would need to be agreed on by you both, however, there are certain tasks that are not as important and can be handled independently.
5. Whose opinions matter
Even though family might want to get involved, it would be great to discuss the fact that ultimately, the opinions that matter are yours, and yours alone. While parents might have some say, the decisions would at the end of the day be up to the couple.
Even though wedding planning can be fraught with wedding stress, it doesn’t have to result in wedding fights. These tips can help you avoid fighting altogether, or show you how to deal with arguments if and when they arise.