How Do You Divorce a Narcissist?

When you’re divorcing a narcissist, get ready to go on the offensive. This is the time to think with your head and not your heart, because you’re going to need an airtight strategy to win. That means you’ll need to get a tough lawyer who has represented narcissists or faced-off against them in court before and can see through their manipulations.

When I was divorcing a narcissist, I thought the divorce would never end. Just like our marriage, every single second of the proceedings revolved around what a victim he was. He fought for the kids even though he didn’t want them, just to take them away from me. There was nothing he wouldn’t stoop to in order to get back at me for leaving him.

If this sounds familiar, chances are you’re thinking about divorcing a narcissist, or you’re already in the process. It’s understandable that you’d be concerned. Chances are that lying, drama, and the refusal to accept any blame for their actions had a lot to do with your decision to end the marriage. These behaviors aren’t going to get any better in court. In fact, they could become much worse.

Dirty Tricks Narcissists Play in Court

Narcissists will go to any length to win in a divorce battle. They will often fight you on every single point. Whether they are fighting for something they truly care about or not doesn’t matter. The real fight is to prove they are better than you. Narcissists fight dirty. They tend to completely disregard any rules that stand in their way to get what they want.

A narcissistic spouse will often try to cheat you out of your money in any way that they can. They will likely try to hide assets and leave things out of discovery, forcing you to file a special request with the court that will cost you extra money in legal fees.

All the bad behaviors that your narcissistic spouse displayed during your marriage, will likely be magnified during your divorce.  They will probably try to bully you in your divorce as they did in your marriage in order to get you to agree to things that are against your best interests. You might be tempted to give in just to make it all stop.

How Narcissistic Abuse Harms Families

Narcissistic abuse can come in different forms, from physical abuse to emotional abuse, which can include:

  • Humiliation
  • Neglect
  • Threats
  • Scapegoating
  • Degradation

Narcissistic abuse is all about power. The abuser is on top, and the rest of the family is down below. The goal is to make everyone else in the family feel worthless and as though they are nothing without the abuser. The abuse makes the abuser feel in control. Visit this website to learn more about how narcissistic abuse tears down families.

Narcissistic abuse will likely continue throughout the divorce, especially if, as is usually the case, the divorce was filed for by the abused. The narcissistic spouse will be more hostile than usual because in filing for divorce, you are threatening to take away their power to control you. This is where they see their self-importance manifested.

The Best Approach

Divorcing a narcissist is bound to get ugly. This is especially unfortunate in cases involving children. No matter how hard you try to protect the kids, your spouse will likely end up dragging them into everything.

The best tactic you have on your side when divorcing a narcissist is to use their own bad behavior against them. If they fail to fully disclose financial details, you can file a motion with the court to compel your spouse to properly reveal the information. If the court sees that your spouse is acting in bad faith, it will work to your benefit. Keep detailed records of every instance of bullying or dirty dealing that your spouse participates in during your separation. Keep a level head throughout, and your good behavior will win out.

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