Saying divorce is hard would be a gross understatement. Even the most friendly and amicable divorce can come with a lot of physical and emotional changes, not just to your life as a mother but to that of your kids. It is easy to get overwhelmed worrying about how you’re going to cope as a single mother. This is why divorced single mom blogs and others like this one strives to come up with a few helpful tips on how you and your kids can thrive after a divorce.
- Do not let yourself be swayed other people’s opinions
People will judge you, and quite frankly, that is okay. Their opinions have no effect on how your life will turn out, so do not be afraid to cut off negative people. Accept the fact that you will sometimes make mistakes and surround yourself with positive influences.
- You need to make time for yourself
The first year after a divorce can feel like the hardest. You no longer have a partner to consult in your decision-making. It’s easy for self-doubt to creep in, and you might end up questioning every decision you make. You might also end up with a lot more responsibility when it comes to the kids. Chores that are normally shared become yours to take care of alone. This is even harder on working moms, especially with trying to balance your work life with your home life. This can be overwhelming; it is therefore important that you take some time out for self-care. Call it “a little me time.” You can try out a new hobby or relax in a nice, warm evening bath or sign up for a yoga class. Making your mental and physical well-being a priority is not selfish; if anything, it sets a good example for your kids.
- Protect yourself financially
As a newly divorced single mom, you might be tempted to play nice with your ex just to keep the peace. But you need to make long-term financial security for you and your kids a top priority. Talk to your lawyer to discuss what your rights are. This article can serve as a guide.
Knowing your rights does not mean you have to be at war with your ex. It is important to develop a friendly rapport with your ex for the sake of the kids. By maintaining a cordial relationship with each other, your relationship with your kids can also improve.
- Make your children’s needs top priority
Divorce can be very hard on children, and it is not uncommon for them to act out. It is important to have a conversation and let them know that the divorce will in no way affect your love for them. However, do not allow your kids to take control of your household out of guilt. Set clear boundaries and rules, especially if you have shared custody with your ex. Divorce is a big adjustment, do not be afraid to seek help. You can hire a therapist or plan activities that can help you bond with your children better.
- Make new friends
If most of the friendships you maintained while married were with couple friends, it can be weird hanging out with these same people after a divorce. Some friends might feel pressured to pick sides, while others may just not understand. It can be very helpful to make friends with other single moms who understand the struggles that come with being a divorced single parent.
- Stay positive
Try to take your mind off all the negative memories from your divorce and just focus on being a good role model for your kids.
Going through a divorce and becoming a single mother is a struggle. You and your kids have to make a lot of adjustments. This can be physically and emotionally exhausting, but it gets better. It is paramount to stay positive and surround yourself with positive energy. There is no reason why you and your kids cannot thrive after a divorce. Find support with friends and fellow moms.