Dating is stressful yet exciting for most people. However, too often in today’s society, there seems to be a higher than average population of narcissists. This makes navigating through the current dating pool nothing short of terrifying. Narcissism isn’t a gender-based issue. Anyone in the world could be a narcissist. Before entering the dating pool and getting caught up, read about the 9 signs you’re dating a narcissist and stay safer.
1. Inflated Sense of Importance
An inflated sense of importance drives a narcissist to try to keep people around that don’t care about the individual in the way the narcissist believes. For example, a narcissist might claim that the reason their ex is on their social media profile is due to extended family relations when in truth the ex is still there because the narcissist has a driving need to try to control the ex’s life. These individuals tell the new object of affection several excuses for keeping an ex around. If the person has a genuine friendship with an ex that is one thing, but when it is clear that the ex just hasn’t deleted the narcissist it’s important to re-evaluate the situation.
Here’s the thing, if a former romantic partner is a genuine friend, the individual will want the new love interest and the ex to become friends. A narcissist won’t allow a friendship between the new person and an ex unless it gives the narcissist more control over both people. When reviewing questions to get to know someone, one of the questions is, “How did the relationship end?”
2. They Monopolize the Conversation and Keep It About Them
A narcissist won’t allow anyone to one-up them in a conversation. During a date or social gathering, the narcissist is the person that is consistently redirecting the conversation back to themselves. No one involved in the conversation can present their own side of the story. The narcissist takes over them and stops anyone from talking about any subject other than the narcissist. It’s one thing when someone asks a question and wants a response pertaining to the narcissist’s life or achievement, but when it seems all the person ever does is talk about themselves. They are an obvious narcissist.
3. A False Sense of Entitlement
A narcissist has a false sense of entitlement where the individual thinks the world owes them. These individuals believe that everyone should bow down to them and do everything exactly how the narcissist wants at all times. Slight inconveniences send a narcissist into a tailspin, and the individual behaves overdramatically for absolutely no sane reason. The way a narcissist views every aspect of life indicates that regardless of whether or not they earned the opportunity the narcissist deserves it. Common signs are complaints about not getting a job or promotion for which the individual doesn’t have the proper qualifications or hasn’t followed the steps necessary for achieving the objective. A narcissist believes just because they are them that the world should give the narcissist whatever they want even if the opportunity wasn’t earned.
4. A Constant Need for Attention or Admiration
A person that is a narcissist needs constant attention and admiration. When the attention is directed away from the narcissist, the individual becomes rude and angry. The individual requires a love interest to give them a higher than average amount of attention and compliments. A narcissist only pays a romantic partner compliments when it is beneficial to the narcissist. These people use compliments, in the beginning, to keep the intended victim in their grasp and charm them. Once a narcissist has the victim around their finger, the narcissist is all about themselves.
5. They Use Gaslighting Tactics
Gaslighting is a strategy used to break down the intended victim and make the victim question their own sanity. Narcissists are well-versed in gaslighting techniques. The victim brings negative behavior patterns or their hurt feelings to the narcissist, and the narcissist uses gaslighting to make the victim believe that the entire situation is a figment of the victim’s imagination. Gaslighting is a method of controlling a victim and prevents the victim from seeing the truth and leaving in the narcissist. If the victim is constantly questioning themselves, the narcissist wins.
6. A Complete Lack of Empathy
According to the psychological traits or a narcissist, the individual has a complete lack of empathy. The individual doesn’t feel anything for anyone else and cannot comprehend how to place themselves in the shoes of others or understand how the other person feels. This trait is what makes a narcissist dangerous. The individual won’t be considerate of anyone’s feelings even their significant other. A narcissist won’t care about hurting someone’s feelings or if physical abuse becomes a part of the equation. The individuals use their cold heart and lack of empathy to break down a victim and use the victim’s feelings to gain control and power over the relationship.
7. Refusing to Define a Relationship
Narcissists are notorious for dodging questions about a relationship. The individuals expect to get the benefits of a spouse without question, but the narcissist won’t give the same treatment in return. If a love interest begins questioning a narcissist if there is a commitment or relationship, the narcissist evades the questions. The narcissist will also continue looking for more romantic prospects. As soon as the other person doesn’t meet the narcissist’s expectations, the victim is strung along until the narcissist meets a new victim and ghosts the current love interest.
8. Constantly Cut You Down or Bully You
A narcissist cuts down and bullies the victim. It is one thing for two people to tease people lovingly knowing that no one’s feelings are hurt by it. But, it is a completely different situation when a narcissist continues to cut down and bully a victim who has voiced hurt feelings and asked the narcissist to stop it. Narcissists thrive on tearing down others and making themselves look superior. It will never stop unless the victim leaves the narcissist.
9. Claim to Change Without Real Results
It has been said throughout time that an apology means absolutely nothing if the individual continues to do the same thing over and over again. Without changed behaviors, the individual is making it clear that they don’t care. A narcissist will never change or care.
Narcissists are scary and maniacal individuals who only think of themselves, their own desires, and their own feelings. These individuals are often charming in the beginning, but the narcissists show their true colors once they have control over the victims. When dating, learning the warning signs of a narcissist can help others avoid dating these individuals and prevent more individuals from falling victim to a narcissist’s evil actions.
