Break-ups- we’ve all been through them at some point in our lives. Whether we were the one doing the dumping or the one being dumped, it’s familiar territory for so many of us. At times, less significant relationships that end don’t have a harsh effect on us once they’re over. But what about the relationships we never imagined would end? How do we move on after those?
Here are 7 tips for moving on after a really rough breakup.
1. Allow Yourself To Feel Your Emotions
Oftentimes, when a relationship ends people try to put on a brave face and act as if they aren’t affected by what happened. While you may draw kudos from friends about how well you appear to be handling it on the outside, inside a storm can be brewing. Not facing or acknowledging sadness, anger, frustration, hopelessness and other emotions caused by a break-up is a recipe for disaster. Pushing feelings down and ignoring them won’t make them go away. If anything, suppressing how you really feel will inevitably cause you to unexpectedly explode later on. It’s much better to face, process and accept how we feel so that healing can begin.
2. Clear Physical Old Relationship Clutter
While in relationships we often accumulate physical reminders and memories of the times we shared with our exes. For some people these reminders can trigger negative feelings whenever they come across items that hold sentimental value. A great way to avoid triggering any of those feelings is to either throw away, sell, or store items away that remind you of your ex or old relationship. It becomes easier to accept the ending when you aren’t constantly bombarded with physical reminders of your ex.
3. Clean Out Your Phone, Tablet And Other Devices
We get tempted at times to look over old messages, texts and emails after a break-up. Reviewing these things can get us stuck in the past. Delete or archive old electronic communications between you and your ex. It will save you from rehashing the past.
4. Disconnect From Your Ex On Social Media
One of the hardest things to do after a break up is keep bumping into your ex on social media. Random updates or seeing them happily moving on can be a painful thing to handle. It is a good idea to disconnect from, defriend, or block your ex on social media platforms to ease the transition after the break-up. There’s even an app called KillSwitch that will remove traces of your ex from your Facebook profile.
5. Focus On Yourself
In relationships our focus often shifts from “I” to “we”. It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself after being with someone. Take time after a break-up to focus on yourself and your goals and put the energy you once reserved for your relationship into yourself.
6. Ask Mutual Friends To Avoid Telling You About Your Ex
While it is somewhat unreasonable to expect mutual friends of you and your ex to no longer be friends with both of you after your relationship is over, it is more than okay to request that those mutual friends not give you updates about what is going on with your ex. Constant information about what is new with an ex may inhibit your healing from the break-up.
7. Avoid Jumping Right Into A New Relationship
That old adage “the best way to get over a man is to get under a new one” may be very popular but it isn’t necessarily good advice. While it is a good idea to get back into dating gradually, it is best to avoid jumping headfirst into another relationship right after a break-up. If you are still dealing with emotions about your ex or are emotionally unavailable, the last thing you want to do to yourself or someone else is start a new relationship without fully being ready for one.
Remember, it’s okay to take your time to process, accept and move on after a break-up. While there is no magic formula to instantly ease the pain, frustration or sense of loss associated with a break-up, following these steps will certainly make the process easier.
How have you dealt with a difficult break-up? Let us know in the comments.