Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral

The kids call it ‘being down with the swirl’ and statistics show more black women than ever are dating outside their race.

But plenty of women of color will tell you that they’ve had a number of encounters with white guys who simply want to tick another race off their sexual bucket list.

While most of us swipe left and simply move on, one black Irish blogger isn mad as hell and she’s not taking it anymore.

Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral
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Filomena Kaguako has written an open letter to demand that white men stop fetishising her.

The pretty 27-year-old joined dating site Plenty of Fish to try and find ‘something serious.’ But she has since been forced to delete the app after discovering that many of her matches just wanted to see what it’s like to have sex with a black woman.

‘I have been in Ireland for 17 years and I’ve been trying to find men who don’t look at me and just see the fact I’m black,’ Filomena says.

Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral
MERCURY PRESS

‘I want them to look at me as a whole person.

‘I’ve noticed that Irish men fetishise black women. I think this is because in Ireland interracial relationships aren’t as common as other places.’

Filomena feels that the reason why many white men approach her is because sex with a black woman is seen as something new – unlike men in places like London or New York.

‘It’s about being looked at (as a black woman), as just a statistic or something to tick off a bucket list’.

Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral
MERCURY PRESS

So, Filomena has posted an open letter on her blog to the men of Ireland:

Dear Irishmen,

There’s more to us than our colour.

There’s more to us than our looks.

There’s more to us than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what we can offer you intellectually.

We have depth. We have character. We have value.

So please stop sexualising us.

Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral
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When you sexualise us you don’t make us feel beautiful. You don’t make us feel special. You don’t make us feel unique. You make us feel like an object that you will eventually get bored of and toss out after having derived maximum pleasure from us.

Stop sexualising us.

Because when you sexualise us you are merely reminding us that you don’t actually see us. You do not see us for what or who we are. You see nothing more than a physical aspect of us. You see a carnel desire and someone with whom you want to explore your insatiable black girl fetish.

Stop sexualising us.

Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral
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Because when you sexualise us we can’t help but wonder how much longer you’ll stick around after you get tired of the pigment of our skin.

Stop sexualising us.

Because when you sexualise us you are damaging our spirit. Tearing up our soul. You are instilling an insecurity in us about something that we should be proud of.

Stop sexualising us.

Because when you sexualise us you’re telling us that we will never amount to anything more than a checklist, a conquest, a tool.

It is degrading. It is diminishing. It is devaluing.

So why do you continue to sexualise us?

Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral
Youtube

I am not a commodity.

I am not a car for you to test drive one day because you’ve come to the realisation that you’ve yet to try a black one.

I wasn’t brought to this world to explore your sexual curiosity and I do not exist to fulfil your sexual needs.

Dear Irishman, the next time you set your green eyes on me, remember this:

There’s more to me than my colour.

There’s more to me than my looks.

There’s more to me than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what I can offer you intellectually.

I have depth. I have character. I have value, so please stop sexualising me.

Black Woman’s Open Letter To White Men Who Fetishise Her Skin Colour Goes Viral
Youtube

Filomena added in an interview: ‘To me, commenting on my race as if it is relevant at all is devaluing and demoralising.

‘Over the last few months, since I downloaded Plenty of Fish, Tinder and OK Cupid, I’ve been experiencing this kind of attitude.’

‘Men will talk to me and say they think I’m beautiful and sexy, but it’s almost always because of my race.’

‘I’ve had it from a number of people – maybe seven or eight out of 10 men will comment on the fact I’m black. It’s a very high number.’

‘This isn’t just black women though – it’s Asian women too. It’s not just me experiencing this.

‘Because of my experiences with dating in the past, it’s coloured all the interactions I’m going to have with men in the future.’

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